Saturday, August 22, 2009

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up

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The other day on a TV show, the character hit her low point. I mean she was stripped of everything and was at rock-bottom. And she knew it. Someone near the character said to her, "don't you think this is a good time make a clean start? What is it that you want to do but could never before do." (editorial note: I shouldn't have quoted that because I don't know that it was the quote. Journalistic ethics be damned)

Clearly at my own rock-bottom, or hovering nearly there, I half to ask myself what is it that I truly want to do with my life?

I took a weekend and did some brainstorming exercises on the subject a while ago. Here is what I found...
What makes me happy:
  • creative challenging projects
  • being included in the decision making process
  • special projects -- non routine or repetitive projects
  • Live events and Production = manageable pressure
  • regarded as a resource who will deliver
What I don't like:
  • kayos for kayos sake
  • spelling
  • cheap design
  • stupid rules and mundane procedures
So what job is this? I know I'm good at coming up with ideas and starting projects but I'm bad at completing them and handling the details. I can train and motivate others to do the job I want done and help them succeed. I've always been that person - the one backstage making sure the people on-stage are successful, well lit or marketed for. Sales doesn't interest me, really, and I'm not interested in doing something not interesting. I've got to be creative and engaged.

I live in Los Angeles, in the heart of entertainment and entertainment sales. I can't think of anything I want to do - or at least that I want to do where I know how to start. Actually, that's it - I don't know how to start.

It's not what you know it's who you know. Who do I know?
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This ain't no Blog-Shit

I know a lot of blogs out there center around a person's interests or hobbies and they are usually full of photos and links and commentary or opinion. This is not that kind of blog.

This is more like a diary - a journal of the lessons I learn and the mistakes and progress I make. I am actually more honest in this thing than I am to most of my friends and certainly more so than to my family! This level of candor is an attempt to keep me honest and accountable. I do my very best to write what I think, no matter how personal, and refrain from editing (hence the spelling and grammar issues).

Anyone who comes across this blog is welcome to learn about me though it - and comment if you like. I know some people are learning some rather detailed shit about me. But I am putting it out there for others to learn by or be inspired. And I put it out there so that The Universe may hear my honesty and send back to me good lessons and good fortune.

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