Thursday, August 13, 2009
Good morning. Your stressed.
The past two days I've woken up stressed out. Stressed out over money, or the lack there of. Yesterday I woke up to the thought that I was hungry, wanted to stop at Starbucks but wasn't sure how much money I had left between my bill and cash account. As it turned out I had just over $80 split between the two so I took out a $20 to get me through the day.
Today I awoke knowing that I had gotten paid. Eager to have the confidence once again of a full bank account I opened my statement to find $1,484 in my bills account. Take out almost $600 for bills, write a check for Randy and Jamie, then estimate the insurance that will come out automatically, cancel the automatic payment for the Discover card and I have ($53.78) to pay the down payment on the bankruptcy I'm going to file for.
Clearly I am not making enough at Beachbody.
My meeting with the VP of Online has been pushed back a week to next Wednesday. Meanwhile I'm still giving away my services for pennies on the dollar. I'm re-engineering the video experience in the Coach Office again. It's terribly difficult and far above my pay grade. Oh, and that's on-top of being a video editor, post manager, distribution manager, negotiating deals with Brightcove, and forward-thinking about viral distribution.
I have taken great comfort, lately, in this new idea of bankruptcy. I've accept it as my future and am looking forward to this weight being lifted off of me. But I couldn't help but wonder if once all the cards are gone if I'll still be able to get by with my weekly checks or if I'll spiral back into despair.
I have got to start bringing home more cash.
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