Charging Through Life

One of the newest phenomenons that has come of our interconnectivity through the internet and online social media is the notion of instant success. Idol superstars are created over an 8-week competition. Dimwitted socialites earn millions just from having a sex tape, a catch phrase, a 'fuck-you' rude attitude, or a drinking problem they don't mind sharing on TV. Start-up companies are worth billions overnight based on a simple idea. With all this instant success seemingly birthed out of nothing, coupled with the trillions of dollars in circulation around the nation, it's easy to get caught up in the belief that consequences don't exist and you can start on-top just by asking.

Last week I stopped off at my credit union to apply for a credit card. It is the next step in rebuilding my credit after bankruptcy. Now I didn't just wonder in on a whim or get offered a free T-Shirt for signing up on the spot. This was part of a carefully cultivated plan based on some research and a plan:

1. I'm using a credit union instead of a bank because credit unions are private and member-driven. 
2. I have a substantial checking and savings account established with around $25,000. 
3. Last year I took out a secured personal loan for 8-months and had perfect re-payment schedule to demonstrate my ability to be responsible with credit. 
4. I walked in knowing my FICO score from all three credit reporting agencies and they were all in the mid-to-upper 600's (about average).
5. Before applying for the loan I asked difficult questions about the credit application process and was upfront about my discharged bankruptcy. 

I was doing everything right and yet they only approved me for a card with a $1,000 limit, pending proof of income (which I can't do right now).

At first I felt insulted - I still do, actually. With proof, in the form of my savings account, of the ability to fully pay off that card 25-times over, the offer feels untrusting. Haven't I gone above and beyond to demonstrate my reformed ways? Haven't I been released from debt rehab a changed man? Isn't my pledge to never over-spend again enough to be accepted back into the establishment and respected? Don't I deserve to to have more credit just because?

Much unlike the instant fame and fortune we see manufactured on TV and the internet, the real-life reality is that starting over takes time and nothing in life is handed to you. Though we are lead to believe that you can become an overnight success and stay there, the truth is that it's failure that can happen in an instant; success and resurrection take time to build. It's a reality of nature: a tree takes years to grow but can be cut down in minutes, a strong body takes time and hard work but can be destroyed with a few bad habits, a civilization takes generations to modernize and prosper but can be wiped out by Mother Nature's furry in about 8-minutes.

There are things you may want to have instantly in your life: health, love, a family, a career, wealth, credit.... And through patience, determination, and gratitude those things can eventually come to you. But they won't show up on the doorstep tomorrow. That's the major shift in thinking our society needs to remember as it processes the lessons of the recent recession. The Universe grows slowly and destroys quickly. So if you find yourself coming out of a low point in life, expect to work slowly to get back to where you once were and be grateful for what you have.

One thing I am not is religious. I find the whole notion of organized religion to be phony and, for the most part, devoid of merit. Some people of faith lead virtuous lives and don't harm or judge others, but they tend to be a rare few compared with the hoards of crazy nut-balls who condem everything they don't understand.

I went to church as a kid and observed a very cliquish environment where you sit and basically watch an interactive stage show with singers, musicians, and a motivational speaker. And half-way through the show they pass around a dish for your cash. Wars have been fought over this silly performance and the belief system it instills. And what's stranger yet, most groups who go to war over religion have  basically the same core belief system, just different celebrities and wardrobe.

So when someone begins rambling on about religion or using religious terms, I tend to tune them out - politely as not to offend, of course. But the other day someone said something that made me take notice.

Your life has been blessed, Sam. You should realize that and had better make something of yourself.

The conversation went on and he backed up what he was trying to say. And it got me thinking:  Was I living a blessed life? Have I been given certain advantages and opportunities others have been denied? Is there a celestial being who favors my outcome in life and has put me on some cosmic VIP list? I mean look, here I am currently not working a regular job and yet I have managed to fend off foreclosure of my expensive and attractive condo (for now). I have fantastic friends and a deep connection with KC who is an incredibly amazing human being to travel through life with. And though I have been dealt my share of challenges and difficulties, they never end up as bad for me as they do for others. Plus I'm potentially on the verge of creating a new professional career for myself that will be wildly successful, all because I happily stumbled upon this crazy millionaire with a philosophy and an idea.

I must consider the possibility that I am blessed when compared with friends who, despite all their efforts and good intentions, never seem to get a break. It's as if they are doomed to suffer and have been mostly un-successful in turning bad fortune around. Andrea comes to mind as someone who does good deeds for others and yet is continually defeated in life. Does her life lack the plentiful blessings that have been bestowed upon me, or does she simply make bad choices?

Knowing how hard I've worked and the adversity I have overcome, it's impossible for me to believe that my good fortune has simply been handed to me. I started out with a core set of strengths that I built knowledge and experience around. I remained adaptable to change and took risks when opportunities presented themselves. Having made bad choices and mistakes, I then took responsibility for them like a man and tried to learn from them.

While I may not believe in organized religion, I do tend to trust The Universe and the balance it strives for. So when someone tries to convince me that my life is "blessed" I understand what they are trying to say but think of it in terms of balanced. But the part I do believe, the part that has me really thinking now, was the second half of my friend's statement when he said, "You... had better make something of yourself."

When fortune, luck, blessings, balance, karma, or just some damn good shit comes your way, I think it is important to try and make the most of it. I had an incredibly inspiring meeting last night with my new business partners in which we discussed, at length, the notion of doing good for others as merely a way of bring joy to yourself. It was suggested, and I believe correctly so, that our society is beginning a fundamental shift in thinking more about simple pleasures and kindness to others, as opposed to object pleasures and selfishness. And we believe we have a noble product that can foster this movement in a small yet successful way. It is now up to me to believe in this cause, this business, and put my faith in it's success while I cast aside the safety of a steady pay check and try to make a difference in my life and the lives of others.

If I have been blessed with fortune and opportunity, and I live in a Universe of balance, I am almost compelled to take this risk and try to make something that is good. And if God, or The Universe, is out there looking after me, then it all should turn out good in the end, right? So I'm not really taking a risk at all - I'm maintaining balance in my life (just not balance in my check book).

Growing up, my family actually did attend church. And by that I mean my Mom drug Travis and I to go sit in a pew next to Grandma & Grandpa every-other Sunday while Dad went flying. We're not what you would call 'religious' by any means. Going to church was just something you do... occasionally. But as I grew and had my own life experiences, I began to form my own opinions on organized religion and faith.

For the record, my official stance is that The Bible (in any historical form) is NOT and should not be considered a record or documentation of the lives or edicts of people from a different time and should never be used as a point of reference or as leverage for an argument. And as for the existence of "God" or an "afterlife," my position is that the human consciousness is incapable of understanding and/or grasping the reality of any 'superior existence' beyond our cognitive realm.

Basically: there is some shit out there that we will never understand so don't waste my time trying, just chill and enjoy the ride.

But lately I couldn't help but wonder if that attitude, while at first glance may be profound and enlightening, is in-fact limiting, un-educated, and lazy. What if there is a greater force out there that can be tapped into for answers or for guidance?

This very blog, for example, is my conversation with The Universe. I'm not writing it for any one person. It's just, at it's core, a log for me to refer back to. However, it is also a place to communicate my hopes, goals, and lessons learned to an unknown abyss. Could this very blog be a form of communication whereby my thoughts are formed and then released out into a greater conciseness only to be returned in-kind? Are there answers out there to be recieved or signs to be read? Am I being just a wee bit full of myself right now?

Where the fuck am I going with this? Well this evening I was reading my horoscope for the month of February, as interpreted by Susan Miller at Astrologyzone.com. Her predictions for Gemini were very career positive.

• February will be a mammoth month for career progress, one of the most exciting months of all of 2010 and possibly of the decade!
• A firmly locked, creaky old heavy door that you have long hoped to enter will now open wide for you, but you must plan for this day and use it for an important initiation. This affirms my feeling that if you knock long enough and loud enough at the palace gates, someone, somewhere, will let you in. This is the month that is likely to happen, dear Gemini. Be ready!
• February will be a powerful month because it will lift the curtain to reveal the career promise that was destined to come to you in 2010. This is to be your reward year, dear Gemini, the year that will crystallize the wisdom and talents you've developed over the past 10 years.

This week Dame Oprah interviewed Princess Glambert. I really like this guy! Each time I see Adam Lambert in an interview I am struck by his authenticity. For all his theatricality (and let's not get into the ridiculously over-blown controversy surrounding his TV kiss -- thank you tight-ass conservative America ass-holes) Lambert is unbelievably grounded and very real! And his album is great.

So he was discussing with Ms. O how it was that he came to the Idol competition. He was a theater fag doing "Wicked" in Los Angeles and said that he was "bored" of that work and, "kinda' asked for something to happen."


There are two very important concepts that Lady Glambert and Lady O are discussing here:

1. Envisioning what you want your life to be and putting that out into The Universe.
2. Taking action.