Charging Through Life

Once upon a time there was a plucky little gay boy named Sam who was on top of the world. You see, Sam had just been freed from a horrible, wicked existence that he had been trapped in for years. Sam had been in a dead-end job. But, because Sam was a crafty little gay boy, he was able to escape from that reality. And oh how happy, driven, and adventurous Sam felt when he did finally escape! He saw a whole world of possibilities and was going to start exploring them and living them.  It was a grand time and a grand adventure for the plucky little gay boy named Sam.

I vaguely recall that fairy tale. It was sweet. I certainly enjoyed the heroism of the plucky little gay boy.... whatever his name was. He saw opportunity and was going to make his new life Incredible. I wonder how well he did with all that?

Well he started out good, certainly. He was very accomplished those first few months and very busy with his exciting new life. But now......
it's been three months since I stopped hitting bootcamp daily,
it's been three months since I stopped tracking my weight and eating well,
it's been three months since I set and achieved goals and daily tasks to improve my situation.

In these past three months I've gained noticeable weight, started drinking soda again, have become reclusive and shy in my house, and am overall apathetic towards my future or any prospects for work.

Sure it's true that every fairy tail needs a villain, I just didn't realize the villain in this story would be me and my own dwindling drive to accomplish things. I've given up one "horrible, wicked existence" working at Beachbody and simply replaced it with another -- not working.

Most days I'll scroll through other people's Facebook postings to see what fun, amazing things they are dong. For instance, Troy & Craig are off enjoying a private cabana today in Vegas.  Oh, look at all the boys who are cheering for "Sunday Funday" at their favorite gay bar today. And like Rapunzel, I just sit in my room gazing through this "window" of mine waiting for someone to come rescue me.
Well now that's just fucking retarded, Sam.

Nobody is going to come 'save' me and just hand me the keys to a castle and this great fairy tale life I'm dreaming up. If I'm going to have anything happen I've got to MAKE it happen. The plucky little gay boy in the fairy tale knew that. So what happened to him? Where's his plucky little drive gone?

I feel as though I'm cursed with boredom. I must have taken a bite out of a poisoned apple, because I've just been lying around for months not doing anything.

Alright, it's clear that there's no Prince Charming coming on a horse to deliver me a hot kiss or something great to do with my life. I don't know why I was expecting him to show up when I know the only solution is for me to sprinkle some fairy dust on my fat ass and get moving.

I'm going to check back in on the plucky little gay boy in three months time from now. By November 1st I want to have achieved 5 goals for myself. They are:

1. To complete a 90-day fitness routine that consists of bootcamp, P90X, and yoga classes
2. To be eating more clean, nutritious meals made from home
3. To be bringing in supplemental income through freelance work or a new job
4. To maintain a daily routine of house chores, exercise, and office work
5. To have "improved" myself through new reading/learning assignments and new friends

To Be Continued....