Charging Through Life

If anyone is actually out there reading this blog (and I sometimes question that) you'll notice a few themes that have run rampant this past year: money, relationships and weight.

Now anyone who knows me will probably describe me as a skinny bitch who looks 10 years younger than he is. (to which I say, "fabulous!") If there is one thing I have learned in my years as a gay man it's how to bat a smile to divert attention from the things I don't want you to see. Like a magician, I distract you with one hand while covering my belly with the other.

But I am becoming more increasingly aware that I am now, in fact, 34, single, maturing, and not at my optimal/ideal weight and/or self. It is with this in-mind that I have started the 10-day "Master Cleanse" detox (and hopefully diet). It is a somewhat gross sounding regiment where you replace all foods with a lemonade concoction for ten days, and then begin re-introducing food into your system for 3 more days. It is fraught with opinion and controversy on the internet and among friends who all will give you an opinion. Even I once persuaded a friend against doing it. But then, what the hell.

This is day 1 and the reason I am performing this cleanse.  It is also the only time you will see such a horrible photo of me.

I'm using this as a stepping-off point for my healthy life. You see, after I was fired I was very much motivated to get into the best shape of my life by eliminating processed foods, and having a better since of what I put into my body. And for the first two months things went great. But I get distracted easily and became unfocused. The Master Cleanse is my attempt to reinvigorate that drive in my appearance; which should then lead to better choices and increased confidence.

Of course people are persuading me against it. Of course there are experts online who speak and write about the body's fantastic waste management capacity and that a gimmick such as this does no actual good and could even harm you. Of course it's a damn inconvenience to be social while you are doing this; last night there was cake and tonight there will be drinks and snacks.

But I look at this as one of life's experiences. There are a lot of opinion out in the world, some of them sound and some of them shit. But I'm finding most opinions to be gray and generalized. Nobody truly has any answers. To fully understand something you must experience it. And when else in my lifetime will I have the opportunity to experience controversial things like: leaving a job that I dislike, starting a new career from scratch, re-defining my friendships to more healthy ones, and trying to drop 10+ pounds in ten days on a cleansing fast.

If you are actually out there reading this, stay tuned and see what I look like in ten days - and if I can continue making myself a more healthy me afterwords.