Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The 12 months of X
So I now I have 10 things I want to really focus on in the new year. But trying to tackle 10 new habits, or having 10 different choices to always half to make all the time is just a recipe for failure! So to make sure I keep to my resolutions, I'm breaking down my 10 for X list; one topic for each month throughout the year. These monthly themes will inspire my efforts so I have one thing to deal with at a time. Brilliant.... I know.
By not overloading myself trying to accomplish everything all at once I'll be able to succeed with steady progression over time and not get frustrated or bored. It allows me the ability to make short term and achievable goals that will keep me motivated for 12 months. And each of the months lessons progressively build upon one another so that the improvements I gain in one month can be capitalized upon as I grow.
January = Routine
What's easy to overlook in any given day/week are those mundane tasks which I hate to do. By adhering to a more disciplined routine, I can maximize the efficiency of my day and have no excuse to avoid the unpleasant. It will be important to schedule in the tasks I don't like to do, like exercise and cleaning, then make certain those tasks are done at the appropriate times.
February = Fitness & Nutrition
I'm stepping up my game in February and fast-tracking my body image goals. A daily time for exercise will have already been put into my regular routine, but in February I want to really maximize my time in the gym. Pick a Beachbody program and really get into it. Also, eating right will be a major focus with a goal being to eliminate soda from my diet. "Fat boy's don't get laid"
March = Finances
It's tax season and I will spend the month dealing with my income-to-debt ratio, my budget, the mortgage, taxes and regular withholdings, while trying to increase my savings for future expenses and building an "oh-fuck!" account. This will also be a good time to figure out how to begin rebuilding my credit.
April = Career
Though I can not directly affect if I get hired or get a promotion, I can put in the effort to finding that great new job or showcasing my work and becoming invaluable wherever I'm at. It's time to figure out once-and-for all what I want to be when I grow up and get myself squarely on a growth path by demonstrating my core competencies. It will also be the time to network with friends and build contacts for new opportunities.
May = Me: Love
It's my birthday month and I can think of no better time to really love me! I'm going to take May and re-connect with all the great things that make's me who I am and love and cherish what I can do well. No negative thoughts for these spring flowers, May is just about Me, what I want, and what is important to me. Building confidence and respect for the great things I do well.
June = Health & Beauty
Now that I have turned 34, June is the time to really address some good anti-aging measures. A daily skin & hair retention routine will have been established and followed already. So this month will be spent on some deeper maintenance. Go in for a facial and skin consultation, get a few things waked, take a whole-foods cooking class, or enjoy a spa day. This month is about turning back the clock a little.
July = Pride
Summer is in full-swing and the gay boys are getting their pride on. I'm taking this month to celebrate being gay and having pride in myself. I'm going to celebrate what I've done in my life and accomplished in the first half of this year. I'm also going to look at how my life and my self-confidence touches and affects other people in my life. It's a chance to meditate and center myself then get out and meet new people.
August = Education/Learning
Part of The New Sam is finding out what other people know. Time to invest in a class on something new and interesting; do a writing workshop, group exercise, study poker or learn to cheat at blackjack. Take an in-depth meditation class, or really get into yoga. Get out and find a group and try something out of the comfort zone.
September = Style
Let's hope that by now all the hard-work I've been putting into the gym is paying off. I may be ready to show it off a little. September is the time to splurge a little and freshen up the wardrobe. Clothes do not make the man, but they do reflect his attitude.
October = Open
I'm giving myself a month here to play catch-up. Re-visit anything I want to do again or that needs more work. Maybe I've made great strides on something one month already and want one month to go even further! This month isn't being pre-planned, but it will have a focus.
November = Home
Take some time to get organized. Throw out any junk or clutter that's accumulated around the house. If you're not using it then you don't need it. And if there's extra cash around, maybe invest in some improvements like new windows (OK that would take a lot of cash), bathroom cabinets, closet doors, or a bar. If there's no extra cash then just scrub the place down and give it a good spit-n-polish along with throwing out the unneeded crap.
December = Reflection & Planning
With 12 months down let's see how I did. Who am I today and what's different from a year ago? What did I learn about myself and get accomplished in only 12 months of focussed effort? What did you not do as well or totally screwup... anything? How will this year be remembered? And, most importantly, what's next?
By not overloading myself trying to accomplish everything all at once I'll be able to succeed with steady progression over time and not get frustrated or bored. It allows me the ability to make short term and achievable goals that will keep me motivated for 12 months. And each of the months lessons progressively build upon one another so that the improvements I gain in one month can be capitalized upon as I grow.
January = Routine
What's easy to overlook in any given day/week are those mundane tasks which I hate to do. By adhering to a more disciplined routine, I can maximize the efficiency of my day and have no excuse to avoid the unpleasant. It will be important to schedule in the tasks I don't like to do, like exercise and cleaning, then make certain those tasks are done at the appropriate times.
February = Fitness & Nutrition
I'm stepping up my game in February and fast-tracking my body image goals. A daily time for exercise will have already been put into my regular routine, but in February I want to really maximize my time in the gym. Pick a Beachbody program and really get into it. Also, eating right will be a major focus with a goal being to eliminate soda from my diet. "Fat boy's don't get laid"
March = Finances
It's tax season and I will spend the month dealing with my income-to-debt ratio, my budget, the mortgage, taxes and regular withholdings, while trying to increase my savings for future expenses and building an "oh-fuck!" account. This will also be a good time to figure out how to begin rebuilding my credit.
April = Career
Though I can not directly affect if I get hired or get a promotion, I can put in the effort to finding that great new job or showcasing my work and becoming invaluable wherever I'm at. It's time to figure out once-and-for all what I want to be when I grow up and get myself squarely on a growth path by demonstrating my core competencies. It will also be the time to network with friends and build contacts for new opportunities.
May = Me: Love
It's my birthday month and I can think of no better time to really love me! I'm going to take May and re-connect with all the great things that make's me who I am and love and cherish what I can do well. No negative thoughts for these spring flowers, May is just about Me, what I want, and what is important to me. Building confidence and respect for the great things I do well.
June = Health & Beauty
Now that I have turned 34, June is the time to really address some good anti-aging measures. A daily skin & hair retention routine will have been established and followed already. So this month will be spent on some deeper maintenance. Go in for a facial and skin consultation, get a few things waked, take a whole-foods cooking class, or enjoy a spa day. This month is about turning back the clock a little.
July = Pride
Summer is in full-swing and the gay boys are getting their pride on. I'm taking this month to celebrate being gay and having pride in myself. I'm going to celebrate what I've done in my life and accomplished in the first half of this year. I'm also going to look at how my life and my self-confidence touches and affects other people in my life. It's a chance to meditate and center myself then get out and meet new people.
August = Education/Learning
Part of The New Sam is finding out what other people know. Time to invest in a class on something new and interesting; do a writing workshop, group exercise, study poker or learn to cheat at blackjack. Take an in-depth meditation class, or really get into yoga. Get out and find a group and try something out of the comfort zone.
September = Style
Let's hope that by now all the hard-work I've been putting into the gym is paying off. I may be ready to show it off a little. September is the time to splurge a little and freshen up the wardrobe. Clothes do not make the man, but they do reflect his attitude.
October = Open
I'm giving myself a month here to play catch-up. Re-visit anything I want to do again or that needs more work. Maybe I've made great strides on something one month already and want one month to go even further! This month isn't being pre-planned, but it will have a focus.
November = Home
Take some time to get organized. Throw out any junk or clutter that's accumulated around the house. If you're not using it then you don't need it. And if there's extra cash around, maybe invest in some improvements like new windows (OK that would take a lot of cash), bathroom cabinets, closet doors, or a bar. If there's no extra cash then just scrub the place down and give it a good spit-n-polish along with throwing out the unneeded crap.
December = Reflection & Planning
With 12 months down let's see how I did. Who am I today and what's different from a year ago? What did I learn about myself and get accomplished in only 12 months of focussed effort? What did you not do as well or totally screwup... anything? How will this year be remembered? And, most importantly, what's next?
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Saturday, December 26, 2009
10 for X: choices for success
With the New Year only days away, I wanted to take some time to come up with a few resolutions for the year. I don't typically make New Year's resolutions but I feel like now is a good time to set up some expectations that will guide me throughout the next year. So I sat down and came up with ten resolutions for 2010, my "10 for X" list!
- Fitness. Add structured exercise into my daily routine at least once a day, working towards being the most fit I can be.
- Diet/Nutrition. Eat a more balanced diet of natural whole foods which are prepared at home in a more cost effective manor and served in healthier portions.
- Finances. Be ever-mindful an even more accurate and comprehensive budget which accounts for what can realistically be adhered to across all payment categories, and which includes savings and debt reduction plans.
- Routine/Schedule. Become more disciplined about maintaining a daily schedule, especially for tasks I don't enjoy or require added discipline, so that daytime activities are maximized.
- Career. Put fourth the dedication and effort required of my work (or future career), more consistently, regardless of compensation and personal attitude.
- Connections. Through a daily meditation practice or other centering exercise, become more aware of my surroundings and how I interact in them, as well as how I'm connected to others.
- Organization. Break old habits in-order to become more disciplined about immediately putting items around the house away properly and doing more with less clutter.
- Fewer sodas, drinks, drugs. Committing to my health, reduce or eliminate the consumption of soft drinks and reduce alcoholic consumption - especially sugary drinks.
- Learn/Read. Continue to expand my experiences by exposing myself to the shit that other people know.
- Image & pride. Discover, covet, maintain and project the image you wish other's to have of you by gaining a more solid inner-confidence and well-pollished outer shell.
You're probably thinking this is a big list for one little guy to tackle. You're probably also thinking that these are going to be hard to stick to because they are so vague. Well the 10 for X list is not a list of goals to achieve or "stick to." Goals must be measurable, obtainable, and have a start & end time. No, this list of resolutions are better described as choices.
We are presented with choices each and every day. Most daily choices are made with little to no effort or thought. You see, the average person will automatically make a choice based on what is easier and more enjoyable in the moment. My 10 for X list of choices are not intended to be the easy choices for me to make. They represent a list of decisions I resolve to make more often for myself throughout the new year. By doing so, I should open up better situations and opportunities for my life, and eventually, achieve measurable progress.
But I can't measure success or progress in these 10 choices. No, the progress I hope to gain will only come from consistently making better choices over a long period of time. Besides, 2010 is not about measuring success or seeing measurable progress. This year is all about choosing a more solid path; building a foundation for which to build upon.
And if I consistently choose to make the better choice for my life and adhere to the 10 for X list, then 2010 will be one fucking awesome year for me!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
2009: Second place for "Year From Hell."
I have had some really shitty years in my life. They are the sum of events which, together, culminate into significant negative milestones in my life. So far, 2004 holds the title "The Year From Hell" in my life with 2003 being known as, "The Year I Fucked Up for Life."
You see, 2004 was when I was into some drugs, officially separated from KC but was living with him and his new boyfriend (and the dog), was renovating my new place by myself, and was getting nowhere at Technicolor. I was deep in debt, deep in despair, depressed, freaked-the-fuck out, and alone. The few things I thought I knew to be true would become incredibly wrong -- yet the challenges I thought I might never overcome have made me stronger today. As with all things, time began to mend and repair the negative effects of my mistakes from that year.
You see, 2004 was when I was into some drugs, officially separated from KC but was living with him and his new boyfriend (and the dog), was renovating my new place by myself, and was getting nowhere at Technicolor. I was deep in debt, deep in despair, depressed, freaked-the-fuck out, and alone. The few things I thought I knew to be true would become incredibly wrong -- yet the challenges I thought I might never overcome have made me stronger today. As with all things, time began to mend and repair the negative effects of my mistakes from that year.
2009 has certainly fought hard for the title that 2004 holds, and it has come in at a very close second place for the title, "The Year From Hell." Events for your consideration include: A huge fight with my best friend (though we've since made up), a few bad choices involving alcohol and 'parties,' a job that has gotten me nowhere and is actually progressing backwards, being out-of-shape and not retaining my youthful looks, an inability to pay the mortgage, and - oh yea - there was that bankruptcy thing.
When you look at the core errors in judgement between this year and 2004 you'll find a repeating pattern: living beyond my means, the occasional recreational drug use, inconsistency in my dedication at work, internal worry and fret about my life with an inability to make lasting changes. These negative behaviors, repeating over-and-over, have placed me where I am today. I certainly am not saying everything is all bad and I don't want give the impression that I am in need an intervention over here. But decisive action must be taken and followed through for lasting positive effect.
Now with that bit of honesty out-of-the-way, I am very happy to report that 2009 was not a complete wash. Because of some pivotal circumstances and decisive action, 2009 was the year I began to make some progress forward. Though dramatic, when I filed for bankruptcy and had the fight with Randy I was shocked into a state of reflection. Those were the catalyst which motivated me into action. During the last quarter of 2009 some really big and positive changes have taken place where I:
(in no particular order)
(in no particular order)
- Started this blog
- Began an internal cleansing program for my insides
- Stopped the occasional/recreational use of damaging drugs for good
- Got rid of all my credit card debt *poof*
- Closed all my online gay hook-up accounts
- Read "The Truth About You: Your Secret To Success" in an attempt to focus my career objectives by defining my personal strengths
- Read "The Slight Edge" in an attempt to focus my life and realize my goals
- Took a meditation class
- Began taking vitamins more regularly again
- Am trying to take a couple of lunches a week to work from home
- Organized my closets and freshened up the layout of my living room
- Committing to program to help prevent hair loss
- Talked to a boy and went out on an actual date
And you'll never believe this... when I do positive actions for myself I feel measurably better (don't mock or laugh at the overly obvious statements, please). For example, maintaining my meditation practice helps me release stress and fell stronger. There were a few weeks where I didn't meditate and found I was grumpy, negative, and argumentative (mostly at work - surprise).
So 2009 was bad - and it only feels like "the New Year From Hell" because it's fresher in my mind then the antics of '04. But taking everything into consideration and looking at the life-long changes and mistakes, 2004 was pretty fucking bad and 2003 was when I fucked up for life - so they deserve those titles.
So with that decided, I herby dub The Year 2009 with the title, and shall always consider it, "The Year of the Wake-Up."
2004 Sam (age 27/28)
2009 Sam (age 33)
So with that decided, I herby dub The Year 2009 with the title, and shall always consider it, "The Year of the Wake-Up."
Now get the Fuck out of my life, 2009!
2004 Sam (age 27/28)
- The year I went "balls-to-the-wall" at White Party
- The year I partied on the Mexican Riviera cruise
- The year I was hiding from my health issues
- The year I was irresponsible
- The year I realized I had to go through life my own
2009 Sam (age 33)- The year some shit hit the fan
- The year I realized I carried too much stress
- The year I asked for a clean slate
- The year I couldn't afford to go on vacations
- The year I dressed up as The Credit Card Fairy
- The Year of the Wake-Up
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Confidence.
I was having a little lunch the other day with some of the boys and I was telling them all about Josh & Phillip's holiday party. J&P are my studio exec friends who have this outrageous home just at the base of the Hollywood Hills. Their place, which is pretty much a mansion as far as I'm concerned, has so many rooms that some don't really have a purpose. There is one room with just a piano in it. And the room next to that is apparently a sitting room. And all of their friends who were there (and it was packed) are extremely powerful high-level executives at various studios. They are all attractive, rich, successful, dating, happy, blah blah blah. Basically, everyone at this party is they type of person I want to be.
So I'm at lunch recounting this story to my friends and saying how in awe I was by everyone at this party, when KC's boyfriend, Al, says to me, "the only difference between them and you, Sam, is they have confidence in themselves."
You know, I'm starting to really like this boy KC has found.
It's a funny thing, confidence. If you're blindly un-aware of things greater then yourself, I would imagine it easy to find confidence in those things you are exposed to. My parents, for example, have lived in the same small county in Indiana all their lives and can be relatively confident because their community accurately reflects who they are and what they will achieve in life.
But when you live in a world where you are exposed to the lavish, the famous, the powerful, the beautiful, the glamour that is and can be Los Angeles - but yet you yourself do not possess such a lifestyle - confidence in yourself and what you can achieve can be difficult to find and maintain.
I am confident in my technical abilities. I know computers and computer-aided design extremely well. I am extremely well versed in some of today's top-level programs such as FinalCut, Photoshop, Illustrator, Compressor, etc. And what I don't know I can learn quickly and easily (usually on my own).
I am confident in my creativity and imagination. I can think up funny ideas, communicate my opinions, create attractive and functional environments, and make things pretty.
I am confident in my loyalty. I stand-by and love my friends. I go out-of-my-way to help those I care about. And I dedicate myself to my work when I feel challenged and properly rewarded.
These few attributes for which do I have confidence should speak volumes about me and what I am capable of. And they should translate well into a great new job that has great rewards. But the thing is, while I am confident I can handle any new job that comes my way - I can't prove it.
Oh to half to prove yourself and your self-confidence to others. It's such a phony thing we must do. And the only way to really prove yourself in business is to have a solid track record. And with me now on version 7b of my ever-evolving resume, I am not confident that my past experiences accurately reflect what I'm capable of or want my new career path to be.
I started reading this new book tonight called The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. It talks mostly about persistence and making small positive choices every day over the small negative choices. Both choice is seemingly insignificant in the moment, but over time the positive choices compound (so too do the negative choices). An example of this can be found in my dinner tonight. I had frozen chicken breasts at home that I could cook - or I had a frozen pizza at Pavillion's I could go buy. The pizza was tasty, BTW - thanks for asking. I am not confident I made the best dinner choice tonight. And I am not confident I have always been consistent with my dedication to, and choices in my career. Those bad career choices are biting me in the ass right now!
However...
I am confident in my ability to change and improve.
And it all starts with a simple positive choice(s). And it starts now.
So I'm at lunch recounting this story to my friends and saying how in awe I was by everyone at this party, when KC's boyfriend, Al, says to me, "the only difference between them and you, Sam, is they have confidence in themselves."
You know, I'm starting to really like this boy KC has found.
It's a funny thing, confidence. If you're blindly un-aware of things greater then yourself, I would imagine it easy to find confidence in those things you are exposed to. My parents, for example, have lived in the same small county in Indiana all their lives and can be relatively confident because their community accurately reflects who they are and what they will achieve in life.
But when you live in a world where you are exposed to the lavish, the famous, the powerful, the beautiful, the glamour that is and can be Los Angeles - but yet you yourself do not possess such a lifestyle - confidence in yourself and what you can achieve can be difficult to find and maintain.
I am confident in my technical abilities. I know computers and computer-aided design extremely well. I am extremely well versed in some of today's top-level programs such as FinalCut, Photoshop, Illustrator, Compressor, etc. And what I don't know I can learn quickly and easily (usually on my own).
I am confident in my creativity and imagination. I can think up funny ideas, communicate my opinions, create attractive and functional environments, and make things pretty.
I am confident in my loyalty. I stand-by and love my friends. I go out-of-my-way to help those I care about. And I dedicate myself to my work when I feel challenged and properly rewarded.
These few attributes for which do I have confidence should speak volumes about me and what I am capable of. And they should translate well into a great new job that has great rewards. But the thing is, while I am confident I can handle any new job that comes my way - I can't prove it.
Oh to half to prove yourself and your self-confidence to others. It's such a phony thing we must do. And the only way to really prove yourself in business is to have a solid track record. And with me now on version 7b of my ever-evolving resume, I am not confident that my past experiences accurately reflect what I'm capable of or want my new career path to be.
I started reading this new book tonight called The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. It talks mostly about persistence and making small positive choices every day over the small negative choices. Both choice is seemingly insignificant in the moment, but over time the positive choices compound (so too do the negative choices). An example of this can be found in my dinner tonight. I had frozen chicken breasts at home that I could cook - or I had a frozen pizza at Pavillion's I could go buy. The pizza was tasty, BTW - thanks for asking. I am not confident I made the best dinner choice tonight. And I am not confident I have always been consistent with my dedication to, and choices in my career. Those bad career choices are biting me in the ass right now!
However...
I am confident in my ability to change and improve.
And it all starts with a simple positive choice(s). And it starts now.
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